I came to a crossroads tonight. The last few days I’ve been missing the slow pace of life in Texas. I’ve missed Mrs. Baird’s Fried Apple Pies, Dublin Dr Pepper, backroads, bluebonnets, longhorns, the hill country, good Mexican food, listening to the scanner and hearing the cops complaining about another instance where somebody’s cows got out. The homesick bug had hit a little. But tonight I hit the crossroads where I had to choose what I was going to do.

I sat at the Porch tonight and had to decide if I was going to pack up and head home or if I was going to stick it out and see what God is going to do. Going home means I’m done, I’m through and there is no more God for me. It’s over. If I chose to go back to Texas at this point, it’s over. He’s out of my life. I sat there during a video we were watching (which I had actually seen the night before) and I cried as I sat there and talked to God about the fact that at that moment I had a choice to make. I wonder why I’m even here. I don’t have much to offer. I’m a horrible guitar player and singer, I’m not much of an evangelist, I’m not really talented in any way and I have no marketable skills. I still don’t know what I’m doing here. But I know I’m supposed to be here in Florida. So I had to make a choice. Follow God and stay, or walk away from Him for the last time and head back to Texas.

Earlier in the day, I had been studying righteousness. The Lord lead me to this scripture:
” Until the Spirit is poured upon us from on high,
And the wilderness becomes a fruitful field,
And the fruitful field is counted as a forest.
Then justice will dwell in the wilderness,
And righteousness remain in the fruitful field.
The work of righteousness will be peace,
And the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.” Isaiah 32:15-17 NKJV

As I sat in the floor at The Porch God reminded me that He wants to take my wilderness that I’m currently going through and He’s going to make it a fruitful field. I’ve spent the last two months in panic mode. I’ve been in survival behavior and fear instead of faith. But look at the end of that scripture: “the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever”. He’s going to bring a peace, a quietness, and an assurance to my soul as I walk in righteousness. I came to the crossroads tonight. And I made my choice. I’m staying in Florida. So now my prayer is this: “Lord pour out your Spirit on me, and turn my wilderness into a fruitful field.”